Our house was going to be beautiful.
We had been saving for years, living in our current ‘starter home’ when my husband reached a point of success in his career, so we could save to design and build our modern dream home.
In my mind, I can walk the rooms and envision the life we might have had there. I was beyond excited to finally have a guest room for visitors and a large beautiful kitchen where I would cook for them. My husband, a talented pianist, would play for hours and music would fill our home. Our daughter would pass lazy afternoons curled up reading on her window seat overlooking the trees. Our son would explore and conquer every inch of those woods until we dragged him inside, filthy, exhausted and happy.
But what I thought I could see as our future began to dissolve with an ominous phone call from my husband’s employer. We asked our contractor to put a hold on moving forward with selections for our home, and then to halt construction just before it began. It wasn’t something we could have ever anticipated, but my husband began to consider leaving the position that had provided for our family. We were heartbroken about this new life direction. My most human response was why and that it didn’t seem fair.
When we told the kids that we wouldn’t be building our house after all, our daughter began to sob. It was in that moment that our situation became real to our whole family. We all lay in a heap on our living room floor and cried together. We shared with them that while we didn’t understand the ‘why’ behind the situation, we believed that God is good and so is his plan for us. I thought I could see our family in that house, but I know without a doubt that God sees all our days.
A few days after we told our kids, while my husband and I were putting up a Christmas tree in the living room, he confessed that he was sad about letting the house dream die, but also had this strange sense of relief. I exclaimed ‘me too!’ Wherever God was taking us, we were thankful to be united as we walked down this path.
The final months of 2017 were the most uncertain of our lives and a season of grieving the things that were being stripped away. A job. A dream home. Things that we liked and that made us comfortable. Things that we had relied on and perhaps exalted to a place of importance in our lives that didn’t merit the value we had assigned to them in our hearts and minds. Above all, these were merely THINGS.
With these gone, we’ve searched our hearts and find ourselves still with an abundance. We are left with the love and support of our family and friends who stand so strongly beside us. We are left in our ‘starter home’ for several more years (Cue me still lamenting that one juuuust a little bit in my materialistic heart). We are left knowing that we can rejoice when we run into problems and trials, because they develop our endurance, character and FAITH (Romans 5:3-5).
And we are left with a sense of something completely new and exciting stirring on the horizon that was part of God’s story for our family all along. Big things are ahead in the year to come, with an exciting announcement coming soon. Be on the lookout!